Holding Both the Hard and the Good

I currently live in a comfy apartment a couple of blocks from one of the more established neighborhoods of Atlanta and a couple of blocks in the other direction from where the unhoused community frequently gathers. 

The dichotomy of this is not lost on me.

Upon my arrival home a couple of nights ago, I witnessed one of my hallway neighbors being evicted from her home. While my heart swelled with empathy watching all of her belongings being carelessly tossed outside into the freezing temps, I found myself pondering how close each of us probably are to being in her shoes. Wondering: “If just a couple of things hadn't worked out the way they did for me or had I not had the familial support system that I have, could that have been me?”

But I share this because of what I witnessed next. For the remainder of the evening, there were no less than 20-30 individuals who showed up for this woman. Walking up and down the hallway, carrying one thing after another outside to be transported to wherever she was going next. It was clear that although something unfortunate was happening to her, she also had a large community of people surrounding her.

And I was struck in this moment by the duality of life. 

Joy and sorrow. Light and dark. Success and failure. Good and evil. 

If we all had our choice, I could say with confidence which of each of these we would mostly likely choose. 

Sometimes it's hard to see or experience one side of the coin without experiencing the other. 

And sometimes, the circumstances we are witnessing or experiencing are so horrible that it's also hard to realize that there are also good things happening simultaneously. 

From a health and wellness perspective, it is absolutely crucial to our well being that we look for the good, and I would even argue that whether or not we allow ourself to do this, is a high predictor of current and future overall well being.

What I have found on my heart to say to my community today is:

Today, right in the middle of so many horrifying and scary things that are happening in our world, it is also true, and important that you pay attention to, the good things that are also happening. 

No, I'm not asking you to ignore the bad. I think it's very important to speak out for what you believe in. Your voice does very much matter. 

And, the duality of that is, if you are not simultaneously taking care of yourself, you won't be around to fight for the things you believe in. 

We were never meant to hold this much, friends. 

My suggestion is this:

Speak up for what you believe in AND limit your access to 24/7 news coverage and constant doom scrolling to take care of your mental health when needed.

Find ways to get involved for the causes and movements you care about AND take time to use mindfulness tools like journaling, meditation, and breath work to tune into how you're feeling and care for your own needs first.

Absolutely notice and pay attention to the evil things happening in our world AND also notice and pay attention to the beautiful things that are simultaneously happening. Notice the people you have showing up for you in your life, notice a particular item in your home that makes you feel happy and well cared for, light a candle and smell a lovely scent. Learn how to check in with yourself enough to know what you really need and give yourself that thing.

These are the tools that will lead to your longevity and will ultimately assist in the future changes you want to make.

This is how we change the world, from the inside out. 

I say all of this with love and care and I know that looking for the good in harrowing times is NOT always a natural or easy thing to do.

But I firmly believe that it is critical to our well being.

Some journaling prompts to reflect on this week:

-What am I most thankful for right now?

-What do I feel genuine excitement for?

-What is causing unrest in me currently?

-What is something that I can do right now to work towards the solution of this?

(For each of these, write as much as you can. Don't edit yourself or your feelings. Notice what comes up for you and if possible, what that thing is trying to tell you. Burn all of your writing if it feels too vulnerable to keep lying around.)

I love all of you and I'm rooting for you.

With gratitude,

Katie Snyder

Katie is a Certified Life Coach that specializes in helping clients find clarity, alignment, and the courage to take meaningful steps toward the life they envision. Click here to learn more about Katie!